136 Comments
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George Watts's avatar

So sarcasm isn't dead. Welcome back my old friend.

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jamenta's avatar

A truly moving story. Thank you for sharing. I may have to reconsider my own thoughts about genocide and mass murder now.

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The Revolution Continues's avatar

Yes, maybe genocide and mass murder aren't so bad... Like poisoning your cheating ex or shooting people by the dozens in a nightclub because you don't like their gender orientation or setting a house on fire with sleeping people in it or....

There's no such thing as "lesser evil"--either in voting or killing.

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Mike's avatar

Blowing a smoke ring through a larger ring is code for something, I am sure of it.

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Patrick Powers's avatar

I got a laugh out of this one.

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Paula's avatar

Me too, but a kind of guilty laugh in the face of the horror. Caitlin is wonderful.

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M.A.G.A. Make America Go Away's avatar

I am beginning to suspect Ms. Johnstone may be a smartass (and a genius).

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russian_bot's avatar

So I got curious whether the term "anti-semitic" could be attributed to Palestinians, their also being a Semitic people, in their decades long struggle with Israel. Turns out, yes, indeed. There are Israelis arguing that its meaning should be based on definitions from apparently many reputable dictionaries defining the term as synonymous with "anti-Jewish".

Holy shit!

OK, then. I don't want to check the definition of "rainbow" in those same dictionaries but, if not yet, then pretty soon they'll define it in terms of LGBTQ+. The actual rainbow will be given some other name, if it's lucky.

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avengah's avatar

Antisemitism was coined by a German Jew-hater to make Judenhass, Jew hatred, sound more scientific. It has never meant hatred of Semites. There are Semitic languages but Semitic races is an obsolete race science theory that doesn't mean anything. But that's beside the point, as the actual etymology of antisemitism means and has always meant Jew hatred, and most everyone knows that - the only reason people try to change the definition is to cloud things and make it harder for Jews to use a word that's been used for centuries, coined by their haters to describe their hatred - in fact, some people are starting to spell it out as Jew hatred so people don't try to make this disingenuous point. We already have words to describe anti-Palestinian racism, anti-Muslim hatred, Islamophobia etc.

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russian_bot's avatar

So? Stop equivocating and bring Judenhaß back translating it properly. There will be no confusion, misappropriation, and bastardization of words (Semite) that cannot defend themselves.

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Boris Petrov's avatar

Good sarcasm. But there is an "easy" solution:

How to instantly, after two decades of “efforts”, create a two-state solution – NOW?

No need for war but Saudis should reduce oil output by 30% - with consequent price increases.

If in two months a mutually agreed solution is not agreed and implemented, reduce oil output by another 20%.

“Bibi” and his Greater Israel and apartheid extremists, together with US, sabotaged a two-state solution for decades – by terror and “realities created on ground”, i.e., relentless building of settlements in West Bank fully financed (with tax deductions) by extremist groups in the US and – contrary to “official” position of US government..

ENOUGH of that bloody charade !!

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User's avatar
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Oct 23, 2023
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Pat's avatar

And when poli titians asked, always their go to as a pretense for being “ fair minded”

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Jack Lomax's avatar

Caitlin is a master (mistress?) of Black Humour

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Dr.Who's avatar

Dark* Humor, perhaps?

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The Revolution Continues's avatar

"How could anyone possibly oppose siege warfare tactics which cut off civilians from food and water and electricity and fuel and medical supplies unless they harbored dangerously negative opinions about members of a small Abrahamic faith?"

I guess one could oppose siege warfare tactics which cut off civilians from food and water and electricity and fuel and medical supplies just because one is a compassionate and moral person who doesn't like watching innocents be needlessly killed. I know--that's pretty far-fetched, but it's possible, right?

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~Shadowcloud~'s avatar

War/combat is perverse at all levels. And that includes when there is a consensus on jus ad bellum. Reaching the same consensus on jus in bello doesn’t happen. War/combat is the greatest single test of one’s humanity for those involved in the war, thos fighting the war, and those directly and indirectly impactetd by war. There is no consensus on what constitutes ethics in war. And even if it existed at the highest level , it is not realistic to expect those directly involved to have them front and center during armed conflict whether they are fighters or civs. Survival trumps all else in a combat zone. Seige in war is accepted as a lawful strategy and tactic by those who signed the Geneva Conventions and its additions over the years. What Bibi is doing in and to Gaza and its entire population tests all boundaries of warfare. It fails all tests of humanity. It does contradict the regions’s “an eye for an eye” by placing more value of Isrealis and less value on Gazans by a factor far beyond 10. And that is affirmed in Bibi’s as well as other Isreali heads of state when they engage in prisoner swaps. There is no 1:1, There has been >1000 :1 . And that obscene approach to human value continues in this latest armed conflict w/Gazan prisoners and Isreali and international hostages. Hamas fighters are barbarians by any and all definitions. There is no honor in their 7 Oct attack plan. There iwas no jus in bello. The objective was to kill, maim, rape, and pillage including returning with human war trophies, dead and alive. There was no indication of shame by Gazan civs. When a conflict surpassas centuries each iteration will experience new versions of the same old, same old atrocities, And it is not helpful that organized religion, specifically 2 of the Abrahamics, continue to portray the other as the root of all the problems by cherry picking thru their own holy book, Just as the 3rd Abrahamic is known to do when it is politically and/or ideology expedient to do so. Without a doubt the much dishonest label in human history is the Holy Land. In reality it is the center of the Land of Treachery. No exceptions. Treachery is not an ingredient in the pursuit of Peace, Pax, Shalom, Salam.

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zippity-123 Sargent's avatar

Your stories need a love button instead of a like button.

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Mario A Leblanc's avatar

Here we are. DICTATORSHIP

ISRAEL MINISTER DRAFTS LAW TO ARREST CITIZENS WHO HARM NATIONAL MORALE

Law would crack down on Israelis who blame government for October 7th massacre

Posted by Yudi Sherman

¨Israel Communications Minister Shlomo Karhi has drafted regulations that would allow authorities to arrest taxpaying citizens and seize their property for “harming national morale,” Israeli media reported Sunday.

According to the regulations titled “Limiting Aid to the Enemy through Communication,” members of the public or media who disseminate information that "undermines the morale of Israel's soldiers and residents in the face of the enemy" or "serves as a basis for enemy propaganda, including the spreading of the enemy's propaganda messages" or "aids the enemy in its war against Israel, its residents, or Jews" will be guilty of a criminal offense.

Regardless of the information’s veracity, the communications minister will be authorized to order the arrest of the information source and seize equipment used to spread the information.

The proposed regulations, which were drafted after consultation with Israel National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir, come as 80% of Israelis reportedly blame the government for the October 7th attacks in which Muslim invaders massacred over 1,300 Israelis.

Security analysts are baffled by how the attackers were able to cross Israel’s heavily fortified border unimpeded and why it took Israel’s highly trained security forces over six hours to respond to calls for help. As we go to press no official investigations have been launched and IDF officials have said “now is not the time” to investigate what went wrong.

“In the 40 or more years that I’ve been following Israel one way or another, I’ve never seen this happen,” commented Trump-appointed former US Ambassador to Israel David Friedman. “I’ve never seen the border breached in this manner. Usually, even one person from Gaza gets close to the border, they’re intercepted and neutralized long before they can do anything. This is just something I’ve never seen before. It’s of course a large intelligence failure.”

Israeli officials have also not addressed how hours after the attack began and Israel’s forces had been alerted, the invaders were able to return the way they came, taking hostages on dirt bikes back to Gaza.

“It is almost inconceivable how they missed this,” said CIA counterterrorism veteran Marc Polymeropoulos.

Security experts are also stymied over how Israel’s intelligence network, which includes the feared Mossad and the country’s domestic intelligence agency, the Shin Bet, could have been ignorant of the operation.

“I’m truly astonished for something of this magnitude to go down and for the Israelis to have no clue that this is about to happen. I’m just speechless,” said Senior Fellow Colin Clarke at the global security research tank Soufan Center. “They have had sources inside these Palestinian groups for years.”

“Israel has exquisite, world-class intelligence collection and analysis capabilities and would have a far better picture of what’s going on in its own backyard. This one falls squarely on the Israelis,” he added.¨ https://www.frontline.news/post/israel-minister-drafts-law-to-arrest-citizens-who-harm-national-morale

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Jack Lomax's avatar

I'm not attempting to justify the insane Zionist dictatorship you live under but I lived through WW2 in England and the wartime regulations were similar. On the other matter it is my firm opinion that the cruel psychopaths who govern Israel let the not very bright Hamas execute the border breach. That border fence is covered by the very best security intelligence in the world.... "Let's let the animals in and kill a few Israelis and we will then exaggerate what they did killing lots of babies and pregnant women and there is our excuse to get them out of our lives forever. And of course our friends in America will support us no matter what we have to do. Signed Head Intelligence Officer Tel Aviv

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Mario A Leblanc's avatar

Yes Jack. This is exactly what happened. Also, that the Mossad didn't see it coming, Impossible. So this event on October 7, 2023 was a PsyOp Operation like the 911 one was in 2001. An inside jodb to create fear, terror, control and war. Plus, here land grabbing.

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Mario A Leblanc's avatar

SECURITY EXPERTS BLAME ISRAEL GOVERNMENT FOR ATTACK : THEY HAD SOURCES INSIDE

Posted by Yudi Sherman October 11, 2023

¨Security experts are blaming Israel’s government for Saturday’s invasion in which Muslim forces from Gaza massacred over 1,200 Israelis and kidnapped at least one hundred hostages.

So far no investigations have been launched into how the invaders were able to cross Israel’s heavily fortified border unimpeded, nor why it took Israel’s highly trained security forces over six hours to respond to calls for help.

Since 2005, when Israel expelled all Jewish residents from Gaza and ceded the territory to Muslims, Israel has been building sophisticated defense systems along the border. Foreseeing a possible above-ground invasion, Israel spent $220 million to develop an advanced security system “with no margin of error.” This includes barbed wire fences and a 23-foot high wall. Motion sensors are embedded in the ground along the electronic fences, which are accompanied by watchtowers armed with remote-control machine guns. The border is also patrolled by unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs), or drones, and Humvees operated by highly trained troops. Hundreds of night-vision cameras placed along the border constantly transmit to command centers which are operational 24/7.

Also deployed along the Gaza border is at least one semi-autonomous robotic vehicle called the Jaguar, equipped with dozens of cameras, sensors, transmitters and a 7.62mm MAG machine gun. The Jaguar sports a remote-controlled PA system and can self-destruct if captured by the enemy.

To stave off underground invasions, a 40-mile-long underground “smart fence” equipped with hundreds of AI-powered cameras, radar, and other sensors. The fence can detect infiltration by sea and is connected to a remote-controlled weapons system. One hundred and forty thousand tons of steel and concrete were reportedly used to build the barrier.

Israel’s Gazan border security also includes Sky Dew, a giant airborne balloon designed to help the Israel Air Force detect threats such as missiles and aircraft.

Video footage from Saturday’s invasion shows Muslim forces using a single bulldozer to dismantle a barbed wire fence. Media operatives have tried to claim that the invaders were able to cross the border after first dropping bombs on observation towers, somehow evading detection by Sky Dew, UAVs, electronic sensors and patrols. There is also no explanation for how the loss of transmission escaped notice by the military and intelligence units in the command centers.

Those units conduct regular drills and maneuvers. According to one military commander who was stationed at the Gaza border, one of those drills is a daily “dawn alert” during which both the night and day shifts inspect the border’s defenses. The Muslim forces, who invaded during the dawn hours, would have stumbled into a massive surveillance exercise by hypervigilant troops.

“In the 40 or more years that I’ve been following Israel one way or another, I’ve never seen this happen,” commented Trump-appointed former US Ambassador to Israel David Friedman. “I’ve never seen the border breached in this manner. Usually, even one person from Gaza gets close to the border, they’re intercepted and neutralized long before they can do anything. This is just something I’ve never seen before. It’s of course a large intelligence failure.”

Israeli officials have also not addressed how hours after the attack began and Israel’s forces had been alerted, the invaders were able to return the way they came, taking hostages on dirt bikes back to Gaza.

“It is almost inconceivable how they missed this,” said CIA counterterrorism veteran Marc Polymeropoulos.

Security experts are also baffled as to how Israel’s intelligence network, which includes the feared Mossad and the country’s domestic intelligence agency, the Shin Bet, could have been ignorant of the operation.

“I’m truly astonished for something of this magnitude to go down and for the Israelis to have no clue that this is about to happen. I’m just speechless,” said Senior Fellow Colin Clarke at the global security research tank Soufan Center. “They have had sources inside these Palestinian groups for years.”

“Israel has exquisite, world-class intelligence collection and analysis capabilities and would have a far better picture of what’s going on in its own backyard. This one falls squarely on the Israelis,” he added.

Former Kerem Shalom Battalion Commander Yoram Erez wrote: "Something here doesn't add up to me!!! This is a mystery that I can't find an answer to since yesterday?

"I happen to know how things work in Gaza and on the border. I was the commander of the Kerem Shalom sector (Rafiah), I was in charge of Kissuf sector, I know the perimeter fence very well, I know how the army works there. I was in the Shatti refugee camp in Gaza, I was in charge of the Jibaliya refugee camp, I would make ambushes on the fence and deep in the area. I met Gazans, ate and breathed Gaza.

"The obstacle is built so that even a fox cannot pass it:

"Alerts are set according to 3 levels of pressure. It must alert when it is cut. There are, 24/7, forces that are responsible for arriving within a few minutes, if not seconds, to the point where there is an alert in the fence.

"Every day they do at least one penetration drill. Each subdivision has a standby squad whose role is to increase the force in an emergency situation. Observations scattered along the border cover every inch of it.

"The female observers are champions at identification. They don't miss. They detect movement even before it even approaches the obstacle - day and night. At problematic points (dead areas) they place a tank with observation and detection capabilities, and a terrifying firepower. In some cases snipers are deployed in the field.

"Every day before dawn there is a ‘dawn alert’ procedure. At this hour all the forces are awake (in this case also the hour when hundreds of terrorists entered Israel). The night shift alternates with the day shift. The commander of each force inspects the axis to make sure there were no infiltrations during the night.

"Trackers that move on the axis know how to recognize traces. They know who crossed the fence, how much and even when.

"Each scenario has a clear procedure. For example, a procedure for infiltrating terrorists, a procedure for taking hostages. Everything is written in blood and has been proving itself for years.

"There are several other layers of security that this is not the place to talk about. In short, we are talking about an obstacle that proves itself for years and years.

"So how the hell does a Palestinian tractor move towards the fence without anyone reacting to it?

"How did the tractor manage to sabotage the fence for a long hour and open access to Israel without anyone reacting to it?

"How did hundreds of terrorists and civilians cross the barrier without anyone on our side lifting a finger?

"How did terrorists arrive on foot and in vehicles, armed from head to toe, to dozens of Israeli settlements, without any reaction from our side?

"How did hundreds of terrorists stay in Israeli territory for long hours, shoot hundreds of Israelis, loot property, without there being even a single reaction on our side?

"How did it happen that hundreds of terrorists kidnapped dozens of Israelis, woke women, children, babies, old people from their deaths, surprised soldiers, officers when they were not ready, and kidnapped them to Gaza, without anyone stopping them?

"How is it that one bullet was not fired?

"How did all this happen under our noses?

"Where did an entire division go?

"Where did 3 brigades go?

"Who swallowed 9 battalions?

"What happened to 36 companies?

"Where did an entire regular infantry brigade go that usually outnumbers the elite?

"Where were all the reserve battalions that augment the regular army?

"Where did thousands of soldiers go???

"Someone here needs to provide explanations!!"

https://frontline.news/post/security-experts-blame-israel-government-for-attack-they-had-sources-inside

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Mario A Leblanc's avatar

The blood drinkers, the cabal want war. This is what they want. General Wesley Clark comment about war in the Middle East. The last country was Iran.

¨So I came back to see him a few weeks later, and by that time we were bombing in Afghanistan. I said, "Are we still going to war with Iraq?" And he said, "Oh, it's worse than that." He reached over on his desk. He picked up a piece of paper. And he said, "I just got this down from upstairs" -- meaning the Secretary of Defense's office -- "today." And he said, "This is a memo that describes how we're going to take out seven countries in five years, starting with Iraq, and then Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Somalia, Sudan and, finishing off, Iran." Read More

General Wesley Clark Wars Were Planned Seven Countries In Five Years 2:12 min

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNt7s_Wed_4

General Clark on the Iraq Invasion | American War Generals 2:59 min

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcWs4TFSjrY

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Mario A Leblanc's avatar

Haaretz | Israel News

Likud Minister Formulates Emergency Regulations to Imprison Citizens Who 'Harm National Morale'

Communications Minister Karhi is promoting regulations that would allow him to direct police to arrest civilians, remove them from their homes, or seize their property if he believes they have spread information that could harm national morale or served as the basis for enemy propaganda.

Communications Minister Shlomo Karhi is promoting regulations that would allow him to direct police to arrest civilians, remove them from their homes, or seize their property if he believes they have spread information that could harm national morale or served as the basis for enemy propaganda.

According to draft emergency regulations titled "Limiting Aid to the Enemy through Communication" drafted by the communications minister after consultation with National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir, the jurisdiction to impose limitations on publications will be sweeping.

It will apply to both the general public and the media, as well as both local and foreign media (in contrast to the stated objective to limit Al Jazeera). It will also apply to the publication of factually correct statements, at the minister's discretion.

The origins of the Gaza Strip, and the Israeli communities across from it

The Gaza time bomb is ticking in the Middle East

Israeli Army Prepares for Ground Invasion in Gaza Amid Rocket Barrages From Gaza, Lebanon

The draft was prepared under the government's jurisdiction to establish emergency regulations according to Section 39 of the Basic Law: The Government.

The draft defines "aiding the enemy through communication" as the dissemination of information that "undermines the morale of Israel's soldiers and residents in the face of the enemy," or information that "serves as a basis for enemy propaganda, including the spreading of the enemy's propaganda messages," or information that "aids the enemy in its war against Israel, its residents, or Jews."

The information covered by the regulations would include both visual and audio content, such as images and text. If the communications minister believes that their broadcast is aiding the enemy, he will be authorized to issue orders to stop the broadcast, orders to seize broadcast equipment, orders to remove a person from a specific area, and orders for law enforcement action in cases of violations of Penal Law Sections 103 (dissemination of subversive propaganda) or 134 (sedition publications).

It should be noted that the draft regulations, as formulated by the communications minister, fully contradict Israel's democratic values and are unlikely to be approved by the government's legal counsel.

Ironically, Karhi himself falls under the definition of offenses he published, having previously expressed contempt for Supreme Court justices, refused to state he will obey Supreme Court rulings, and, six months ago, expressed disdain for reserve soldiers who refused to volunteer ("The people of Israel will get by without you, and you can go to hell").

In an interview with the Galey Israel radio station on Sunday morning, Karhi claimed that the proposed draft emergency regulations were intended to shut down broadcasts of the Qatari Al Jazeera network in Israel, and that the draft was passed on to security officials.

"As far as I'm concerned, they won't be able to operate in Israel, [but] I don't know what the legal counsel will leave from the regulations I've introduced – including the confiscation of equipment and office closures."

According to Karhi, Israel's National Security Council supports the closure of the Al Jazeera network, and he "hopes they will be able to bring the final version of the regulations today [Sunday] to the cabinet meeting."

It's important to mention that Karhi is presently advocating a reform targeted at undermining established media outlets. He expressed his intention to intervene in content when he took office. "Journalists today serve their agenda. In my vision, journalists will serve the public. When my reform is completed ... channels won't be able to broadcast intellectual disgrace without feeling it in their pockets."

It should be noted that this is not Karhi's first move to take advantage of the ongoing security emergency. Over the weekend, the Israeli Walla website reported that the communications minister had intervened aggressively to favor Channel 14, which tends to support Netanyahu's coalition.

Karhi directed Israel's Second Authority for Television and Radio to broadcast Channel 14 free of charge on the Idan Plus system, despite it owing the authority nearly 20 million shekels (about $5 million), including a debt of approximately 7 million shekels for airing its content on Idan Plus.

The communications minister has not responded to an inquiry on the matter.

https://archive.is/20231015233144/https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/2023-10-15/ty-article/.premium/israeli-minister-seeks-to-imprison-citizens-who-harm-national-morale/0000018b-33a7-d0b2-afff-33e788c00000

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Dr.Who's avatar

The only democracy in the Middle East 🤣

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dawnfrench's avatar

Hamas is Israeli intelligence:

https://theresearchofmilesmathis.substack.com/p/hamas

Just like the PLO was British intelligence:

https://theresearchofmilesmathis.substack.com/p/palestine-liberation-organization

Iran has been controlled by

So this looks very likely to be a mostly fake war:

http://mileswmathis.com/isra.pdf

http://mileswmathis.com/40babies.pdf

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User's avatar
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Oct 23, 2023
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Pat's avatar

And europe keeps following blindly along. Ww2 and ppl are still in the same mentality

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Alex's avatar

Great satire. By the way, the wise man looks like he comes from Bavaria. :)

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Patrick Powers's avatar

Tyrol actually, which is Austrian-Italian. It is true though that Tyrolian apparel and accessories are very popular in Bavaria.

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Longtrail's avatar

😂

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Stanley Wolf's avatar

How fortunate we are to have our own high-ranking officials to reassure us with vapid apologizing for our dear infallible pals...

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Margaret Anna Alice's avatar

🤣🤣🤣 Bravo, Caitlin.

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JoeMichel's avatar

Satire at its best.

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Greg Connolly's avatar

Clever

Some people actually support, use such contorted apologia. Goodness what a world……

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Patrick Powers's avatar

It's actually quite simple.

Everything We do is good.

Everything They do is bad.

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mike's avatar

One thing I will always stand firm on #FreePalestine

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