Stop Picking On Poor Little Israel

Reading by Tim Foley:

Stop picking on poor little Israel. It’s just sitting there minding its own business trying to do a little genocide in peace while aggressively lobbying your government to crush your freedom of speech and freedom of assembly, and you’re OBSESSING about it for NO REASON.

You just hate Jews. That’s the only possible reason you could spend so much time obsessing about this one tiny little harmless country: you’ve got a crazy, irrational fixation on a small abrahamic religion, because you’re a weirdo. Stop saying it’s actually about all the wars and atrocities and apartheid and starving children and lobbying and propaganda and nonstop assaults on your civil rights and your government’s complicity in genocidal abuses and the fact that you can’t engage in any aspect of society without having pro-Israel influence operations shoved down your throat. No. That’s not it. It’s because you get freakishly enraged by small hats.

Don’t you know there was a shooting on Bondi Beach? Some ISIS guys killed some Jewish people, and it never would have happened if protesters hadn’t been accusing Israel of doing bad things. Stop saying they did it because they had been involved with ISIS for many years. They did it because you wore a watermelon pin.

There was a mass shooting in Sydney so that means everything that happened over the previous two years gets erased, just like how October 7 automatically deleted the last eight decades. Everything that happened before the bad thing gets shaken out of existence like an Etch A Sketch, and anything that’s done afterward is justified by the bad thing. If this happens to advance pre-existing Israeli agendas like massive land grabs or suppression of pro-Palestine demonstrators, so be it. Them’s the rules.

There was a mass shooting in Australia so now everyone needs to shut up and do whatever Israel wants. Israel feels sad about the shooting so now it gets to do a bit more genocide, as a treat. It’s only fair.

Why are you so obsessed with Israel when there are other countries doing bad things in the world, anyway? How come you’re not worried about the Iran lobby manipulating your country’s political affairs, huh? Why aren’t you freaking out about all the bombs and war planes the United States has been sending to the Cubans to help them commit genocide? Why have I never seen you angrily objecting to Australia and the United Kingdom outlawing criticism of China? Where are your outraged polemics about the way the western news media churn out propaganda to advance the information interests of Russia? You’re just focused on that one particular country with that one particular religion for some strange reason, aren’t ya, Adolf?

You’re just picking on this one poor little nation that’s completely defenseless except for a few dozen nukes and the backing of the most powerful empire in history and the full support of the most sophisticated propaganda machine that has ever existed. This tiny, insignificant, helpless little country that’s surrounded by enemies who hate it for absolutely no reason, who are so senselessly hostile that it needs to constantly preemptively attack them in order to stay safe.

Look at a map of all the Muslim countries compared to the one tiny Jewish country that was forcefully installed right smack dab in the middle of all of them. You’re telling me that one little country is the problem? Just because it was dropped on top of a pre-existing civilization in a region with no historical relationship with its immigrant inhabitants under the direct supervision of western imperialists who’d been working to subjugate the middle east for centuries? Outrageous! You just don’t think the Jews are uniquely undeserving of their own state.

Get a hobby or something, loser. Stop picking on this innocent little Bambi-eyed waif of a nation who has never, ever done anything wrong. Stop obsessing over genocide and tyranny and the erosion of civil liberties throughout the western world, and pay attention to something else. Literally anything else. Please. Please stop looking at Israel and its actions. I can’t keep doing this. This is getting exhausting.

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