Blind Submission To Authority Is Caused By Bad Parenting
Blind submission to authority is the result of propaganda and indoctrination, but it’s also the result of bad parenting. Raising kids who aren’t allowed to say no to you is raising adults who don’t think anyone should be allowed to oppose their rulers.
That’s mainly what you’re seeing in the comments section of any viral police brutality video with people defending the cop’s actions and saying the victim should have complied with commands more perfectly. All they’re really saying is “Don’t disobey Daddy and you won’t get smacked!”
You can see their parenting in their faces when conversing about politics and news in person. Discuss the latest act of war or abuse with someone who’s been trained to reflexively obey authority and you can watch them running calculations trying to find excuses to justify why the powerful are correct in this given instance, even if you’re presenting them with brand new information. They never pause to reflect on whether their apologia is grounded in facts or morality; they begin with the assumption that the authority figure must be correct and work backward from there.
All the worst things that have ever happened were the result of people obeying authority when they should have disobeyed. Genocides. Wars. Slavery. Tyranny. Injustice. They were all made possible by obedience, not disobedience. And that remains the case today.
If you want to raise kids who’ll help make the world a better place when they grow up, then you’ve got to put your ego in the back seat and let them say no and walk their own path, because you are teaching them how to relate to authority in a world where the authority figures are the villains causing all our problems.
Obviously you can’t let your kid do things that will cause actual concrete harm to themselves, but most of the limits parents set on their children from day to day have nothing to do with protecting them from harm. If they don’t want to kiss Grandpa then don’t make them kiss Grandpa. If they don’t want to eat this or that food then don’t force them. If they reject you or hurt your feelings, don’t put the needs of your ego in that moment ahead of your desire to raise a citizen who can defy authority when that is what’s called for. The real material harm they cause by defying this or that social convention or going against your personal wishes is basically nothing, especially when compared to the harm that would be caused by training them to blindly obey authority in a world that is ruled by psychopaths.
It is absolutely necessary to set boundaries with your children at times, because you need to be modeling what healthy boundary-setting looks like, and because you don’t want to raise a malignant narcissist who thinks the world revolves around them and their desires. But it is equally necessary to show them that their own boundaries are legitimate and permissible, because otherwise they won’t set them in their own lives.
So many abusive dynamics arise from the erosion of people’s healthy “no”. That’s how people wind up joining cults and getting trapped in abusive marriages, and it’s how they wind up consenting to the rule of abusive governments who should have been overthrown long ago. Their healthy “no” was gradually worn down, first by their parenting and then by the psychological manipulation of the abuser.
“No” is an essential skill. Giving your child a healthy “no” is as important as teaching them how to meet any other developmental milestone like walking, speaking, reading or preparing food. That’s how you keep them free from abusive relationships, and that’s how you keep their minds free from the propaganda of the powerful.
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As the great Howard Zinn said (paraphrased) "Our problem isn't civil disobedience--it's civil obedience."
In other words, "Just say no to people who don't deserve your loyalty and obedience!"
When I saw the title of this I thought, "Come on, you're joking," but I soon realised it applied to my mother's relationship with me. When I was about to turn 20 (in 1968 - conscription call up age) I told my mother I would go on the run rather than be forced into the army. She replied that she would be obliged to inform the authorities of my whereabouts; even though she was against the war in Vietnam, she couldn't abide the idea of me failing to obey the law. I believe she had a very harsh upbringing. I would like to ask my mother about that now, but she died many years ago. (As it turned out, my number wasn't picked in the raffle, so I didn't have to do a runner after all.)