I like this format. Please publish more of them. Perhaps I'll create a video version of one of them being that I'm an actor and work with a crew to create my short videos for my Douyin and Kuaishou channels. I have over 1 million followers.
That's a problem with satire these days. We need a new HTML tag to warn people: (SATIRE> blah blah </SATIRE>, just like <IRONY>, <PARODY>, <SARCASM>, and <RANT>.
Fish poison factory? Fukushima? Caitlin, Americans don't eat breakfast together anymore. Very few do crosswords (most can't read). Scrabble sales are down. "Mass shootings" have been beaten into the ground by the media in the USA. That's all about "gun control" (confiscation). Australia led the way on that, and masks, and vax mandates, and lockdowns, and...
In Australia at breakfast the husband watches sports highlights and the wife eats grapefruit while reading gossip articles about celebrities.
I think this comments focus is right. The official/permitted gun narrative in the US is regulation/confiscation. Popular opinion all starts with, “I’m not anti-gun but we need to do something about these AR-15 style assault rifles ....” Anything else (like govt with a monopoly on power and firearms would be a bad time) is uncouth.
Scott Whiteman: Yes. Only the state, which is based upon force, can have guns to use that force against us. "But we get to vote for the bullies." Bullshit.
LOL! A: Where would a four year old get a machine gun? They are illegal and I've never seen one. B: A four year old couldn't even pick up such a gun. They are too heavy. C: I'd like to see a four year old with a machine gun. If he could pick it up and pull the trigger the recoil would knock the kid on his ass. LOL. Reminds me of that fake video of the chimp with an AK-47 in Africa.
LOL! No worries. I watch the local San Francisco TV News for entertainment. Once in a while I play a game of drinking beer every time the TV announcer or a government politician or bureaucrat lies. It takes a lot of beer to get through a 1/2 hour news show. They even lie about the weather.
Mark Keating: They lie lying down. They lie sitting. They lie standing. They lie sunup to sunup. They lie whether or not it is fitting. Their lies are as constant as the tides.
What really burns me is when they don't even apologize when they get the weather all wrong... If they did that about other things people would really be up in arms...
They give the machine guns away at Subway when you fill up your customer loyalty punch card. Probably found it in the back of a Kia, after the kid took it for a joyride.
News flash...Another 2,000 people murdered by big pharma prescribed drugs today, and yesterday and tomorrow...like clockwork. These numbers are increasing and there are no guns involved except for perhaps your doctor holding one to your head if you do not accept his poison drugs.
What's the worst tragedy? Mass murder is mass murder...only the causes and number of dead are different and perhaps how much out in the open they are.
Dead is dead. Is someone less dead because they died in a car accident instead of a shooting? Or lack of health care? Brain cancer vs. lung cancer? Or someone flew a plane into their office building, vs parked a truck bomb near it?
"One death is a tragedy. A million dead is a statistic." J. Stalin
Thank you Caitlin. Fact with a dose of fiction : ( People are thinking someone will save us as we live in delusion. Tipping points for sale, get your tipping point, buy now in the next 10 mins, free shipping.
It was hard to tell the difference between this and a normal day in the United States. There have been times where I have woken up to several mass shootings reported during a single day. The aspect of companies downsizing for no real reasons is also realistic, you know profit. There is no need for the fish poison though, we polute our waters with PCBs, mercury, and garbage. We kill the fish without a second thought. Hell, you really can't give a man a fish anymore, they are too poisonous to eat! ;)
Thing is, you could train an AI on a body of satirical pieces and prompt it to write something just like this... But you do need to know how to code, that this skill is not ubiquitous is a sad state of affairs for humanity given the unprecedented power available to anyone who has picked up this obviously beneficial skill in the last few decades.
I get that it's threatening, all the fearmongering about AI supplanting us is a disservice to the tremendous assistance it will be providing us (if we use it right). You'd do better to embrace AI as a tool to enhance your process. Lest you be left in the dust the same way people who clung to cave drawings or bard songs, or scrolls, pen and paper, printing press, the typewriter, and so on.
I think you are missing my point which was quite specific in referring to my post on the subject which is a suggestion that what machines do, is not intelligence. Machines cannot understand the "meaning" of meaning. They can never write something like this.
Writing plays is fun, right? I've probably written at least 100 short plays, most of which I don't even remember. There's something about creating dialogue on paper (or screen) that's very satisfying. We already know you're gifted at essays, poems, paintings and tweets, so it's exciting to add yet another medium to the Caity arsenal. Thumbs up.
I like this format. Please publish more of them. Perhaps I'll create a video version of one of them being that I'm an actor and work with a crew to create my short videos for my Douyin and Kuaishou channels. I have over 1 million followers.
Great idea, James.
I just checked out your site and subscribed, James.
Which site is that, William?
https://substack.com/profile/112908708-james-filbird
Thank you for joining. ✌️
Love the satire! Trouble is, it's too realistic...
That's a problem with satire these days. We need a new HTML tag to warn people: (SATIRE> blah blah </SATIRE>, just like <IRONY>, <PARODY>, <SARCASM>, and <RANT>.
Yeah I've had to post an <Irony Alert> ahead of many of my online comments because too many people take them seriously
The thing is nowadays it actually needs to be marked as NOT a satire.
The story of an ordinary breakfast such as there must be thousands (millions) of them in the homes of our "collective West". Alas!
This is absolutely brilliant!
My words exactly!
Fish poison factory? Fukushima? Caitlin, Americans don't eat breakfast together anymore. Very few do crosswords (most can't read). Scrabble sales are down. "Mass shootings" have been beaten into the ground by the media in the USA. That's all about "gun control" (confiscation). Australia led the way on that, and masks, and vax mandates, and lockdowns, and...
In Australia at breakfast the husband watches sports highlights and the wife eats grapefruit while reading gossip articles about celebrities.
I think this comments focus is right. The official/permitted gun narrative in the US is regulation/confiscation. Popular opinion all starts with, “I’m not anti-gun but we need to do something about these AR-15 style assault rifles ....” Anything else (like govt with a monopoly on power and firearms would be a bad time) is uncouth.
Scott Whiteman: Yes. Only the state, which is based upon force, can have guns to use that force against us. "But we get to vote for the bullies." Bullshit.
Thanks for your reply.
But she is right about four year olds with machine guns...
LOL! A: Where would a four year old get a machine gun? They are illegal and I've never seen one. B: A four year old couldn't even pick up such a gun. They are too heavy. C: I'd like to see a four year old with a machine gun. If he could pick it up and pull the trigger the recoil would knock the kid on his ass. LOL. Reminds me of that fake video of the chimp with an AK-47 in Africa.
Sorry, but i saw it on the news so....
LOL! No worries. I watch the local San Francisco TV News for entertainment. Once in a while I play a game of drinking beer every time the TV announcer or a government politician or bureaucrat lies. It takes a lot of beer to get through a 1/2 hour news show. They even lie about the weather.
There is a very old joke that goes:
Q: "How can you tell when a politician is lying?"
A: Are their lips moving?
Mark Keating: They lie lying down. They lie sitting. They lie standing. They lie sunup to sunup. They lie whether or not it is fitting. Their lies are as constant as the tides.
What really burns me is when they don't even apologize when they get the weather all wrong... If they did that about other things people would really be up in arms...
They give the machine guns away at Subway when you fill up your customer loyalty punch card. Probably found it in the back of a Kia, after the kid took it for a joyride.
Mark Keating: Hilarious!
News flash...Another 2,000 people murdered by big pharma prescribed drugs today, and yesterday and tomorrow...like clockwork. These numbers are increasing and there are no guns involved except for perhaps your doctor holding one to your head if you do not accept his poison drugs.
What's the worst tragedy? Mass murder is mass murder...only the causes and number of dead are different and perhaps how much out in the open they are.
Dead is dead. Is someone less dead because they died in a car accident instead of a shooting? Or lack of health care? Brain cancer vs. lung cancer? Or someone flew a plane into their office building, vs parked a truck bomb near it?
"One death is a tragedy. A million dead is a statistic." J. Stalin
(edit for spelling errors)
I am triggered by this post!
Hahaha!
"launching 'em outta catapults" ... sigh
I approve of more comedy articles like this. Spot on, the insanity is plain to see for an outside observer, but not for Tom & Jane!
I think there should be a whole series of these short plays with even more American families... Tom & Jane & Ted & Alice maybe?
Thank you Caitlin. Fact with a dose of fiction : ( People are thinking someone will save us as we live in delusion. Tipping points for sale, get your tipping point, buy now in the next 10 mins, free shipping.
It was hard to tell the difference between this and a normal day in the United States. There have been times where I have woken up to several mass shootings reported during a single day. The aspect of companies downsizing for no real reasons is also realistic, you know profit. There is no need for the fish poison though, we polute our waters with PCBs, mercury, and garbage. We kill the fish without a second thought. Hell, you really can't give a man a fish anymore, they are too poisonous to eat! ;)
That’s America!
Oh goodness ain’t that the truth.
This dropped into my mailbox as I was finishing some corrections to my own post of two days ago.
It will take me a while to get away from my subject, as everything reminds me of it.
Like this post. How can anybody believe that AI can be creative? That it can ever 'understand' the subtleties in a simple, short piece like this one?
The delusion is strong in some....
Thing is, you could train an AI on a body of satirical pieces and prompt it to write something just like this... But you do need to know how to code, that this skill is not ubiquitous is a sad state of affairs for humanity given the unprecedented power available to anyone who has picked up this obviously beneficial skill in the last few decades.
I get that it's threatening, all the fearmongering about AI supplanting us is a disservice to the tremendous assistance it will be providing us (if we use it right). You'd do better to embrace AI as a tool to enhance your process. Lest you be left in the dust the same way people who clung to cave drawings or bard songs, or scrolls, pen and paper, printing press, the typewriter, and so on.
I think you are missing my point which was quite specific in referring to my post on the subject which is a suggestion that what machines do, is not intelligence. Machines cannot understand the "meaning" of meaning. They can never write something like this.
Maybe you should read my post: https://zorkthehun.substack.com/p/ai-is-no-match-for-natural-stupidity
I am not afraid of the machine, but I am concerned about its misuse
Writing plays is fun, right? I've probably written at least 100 short plays, most of which I don't even remember. There's something about creating dialogue on paper (or screen) that's very satisfying. We already know you're gifted at essays, poems, paintings and tweets, so it's exciting to add yet another medium to the Caity arsenal. Thumbs up.
Marvelous, is it a Broadway play yet?