yes, I understand that experience and have had similar issues. still, I see a lot of people in the US and in Canada thinking they are better than people of colour, better than indigenous people, better than LGBTQ people, better than homeless people, better than poor people and on and on. Maybe not quite the same kind of brainwashing about the same kinds of things but still fomenting hatred for people who are perceived as less good. When the Vietnam war was happening and it was Americans doing the killing to "preserve democracy" and to "save Vietnam" from communism many Americans thought they were the good guys. I did too until I went to Paris and met a group of Vietnamese people who hated what the Americans were doing to their country. I don't know quite what to do about Jewish acquaintances who think Israel is their promised land either. But then I also don't have solutions for all those other haters. Mainly I don't want to become like them.
I don't think you have to worry about becoming a "hater," Susan. You have much too big a heart for that.
Your experience meeting Vietnamese people in Paris was interesting - thank you for sharing the story.
Regarding "a lot of people thinking they are better" than group x, y, z... I think I understand what you are referring to, but I have to ask: is this something you are witnessing in real life, or is it a phenomenon you are seeing played out on a screen?
I almost never meet any "supremacists" of any stripe in person, but they seem to be all over the place on the MSM and social media networks. Makes me wonder if we're just being played? There are strong forces at work trying to divide us all against each other right now.
It's certainly not pretty at times, but it's up to each of us not to allow ourselves to be manipulated into hating our brothers and sisters.
I don't meet many who claim to be supremacists, but for sure I meet people who think that people not like them have a suspicious agenda. Mostly people don't come straight out and say these things, but after a while you hear comments about how some people are less hard working or less honest or more prone to violence etc. There is a lot of mistrust and unwillingness to understanding LGBTQ issues. Even on this thread there are people who seem to think that it is Jewishness that is what is causing issues in Gaza and they don't seem to want to consider that may be a bit simplistic as well as anti-semitic. I think that we are programmed by schools, the media, our families to think of some groups of people as lesser than us. It is a difficult topic to discuss here and only slightly less difficult face to face or talking by phone. I have a couple of people who were friends, but now won't talk to me. One over what is happening in Gaza, one because I don't trust billionaires, especially Bill Gates because she thinks he is wonderful and another because I hardly ever support the status quo which gets on her nerves. I don't think we are being played that there are real supremacists among us. It can be difficult not to feel hatred toward some of the thinking. That old parenting advice "talk about the behaviour, not the person" is something that is probably good for all of us to remember.
“I meet people who think that people not like them have a suspicious agenda.”
I think what you are describing is actually a pretty universal phenomenon. It’s always easier to trust people who are part of your own cultural group (regardless of what cultural group that happens to be) because every culture has its own set of “unspoken rules.”
I know perfectly well how to interpret a subtle facial expression, a particular hand gesture, or a certain tone of voice when I’m amongst people from my own cultural group… but throw me into a situation where I’m interacting with people who are from another culture, and the opportunities for me to be misunderstood, or for me to misunderstand others, increases exponentially.
Hence, less trust, more suspicion.
This isn’t to say that we can’t interact in a positive way with people who are culturally different from us – on the contrary, such situations can be great opportunities to learn more about others and ourselves. But IMHO, interacting in a respectful way with members of a different culture requires acknowledging and being honest about our differences.
I’m sorry to hear that you have friends who won’t speak to you because you have different perspectives on some of the more pressing issues of our day. I’ve had people stop talking to me as well, and if I’m honest, there are also a few people I just don’t feel like having much to do with anymore, either. It does feel like we are going through a great “sorting” right now, and the dissolution of some relationships, both with family members and friends, seems to be an inevitable part of that.
These are confusing times. For myself, I find one way to stay anchored is to follow the adage, “know thyself.”
I think the differences between us, cultural and otherwise, are a big part of what makes us interesting to each other. In my experience, not everyone feels that way. Those micro suspicions seem to morph into real distrust and, at its worst, to hatred. We are all different whether those differences are cultural or lifestyle difference.
yes, I understand that experience and have had similar issues. still, I see a lot of people in the US and in Canada thinking they are better than people of colour, better than indigenous people, better than LGBTQ people, better than homeless people, better than poor people and on and on. Maybe not quite the same kind of brainwashing about the same kinds of things but still fomenting hatred for people who are perceived as less good. When the Vietnam war was happening and it was Americans doing the killing to "preserve democracy" and to "save Vietnam" from communism many Americans thought they were the good guys. I did too until I went to Paris and met a group of Vietnamese people who hated what the Americans were doing to their country. I don't know quite what to do about Jewish acquaintances who think Israel is their promised land either. But then I also don't have solutions for all those other haters. Mainly I don't want to become like them.
I don't think you have to worry about becoming a "hater," Susan. You have much too big a heart for that.
Your experience meeting Vietnamese people in Paris was interesting - thank you for sharing the story.
Regarding "a lot of people thinking they are better" than group x, y, z... I think I understand what you are referring to, but I have to ask: is this something you are witnessing in real life, or is it a phenomenon you are seeing played out on a screen?
I almost never meet any "supremacists" of any stripe in person, but they seem to be all over the place on the MSM and social media networks. Makes me wonder if we're just being played? There are strong forces at work trying to divide us all against each other right now.
It's certainly not pretty at times, but it's up to each of us not to allow ourselves to be manipulated into hating our brothers and sisters.
I don't meet many who claim to be supremacists, but for sure I meet people who think that people not like them have a suspicious agenda. Mostly people don't come straight out and say these things, but after a while you hear comments about how some people are less hard working or less honest or more prone to violence etc. There is a lot of mistrust and unwillingness to understanding LGBTQ issues. Even on this thread there are people who seem to think that it is Jewishness that is what is causing issues in Gaza and they don't seem to want to consider that may be a bit simplistic as well as anti-semitic. I think that we are programmed by schools, the media, our families to think of some groups of people as lesser than us. It is a difficult topic to discuss here and only slightly less difficult face to face or talking by phone. I have a couple of people who were friends, but now won't talk to me. One over what is happening in Gaza, one because I don't trust billionaires, especially Bill Gates because she thinks he is wonderful and another because I hardly ever support the status quo which gets on her nerves. I don't think we are being played that there are real supremacists among us. It can be difficult not to feel hatred toward some of the thinking. That old parenting advice "talk about the behaviour, not the person" is something that is probably good for all of us to remember.
“I meet people who think that people not like them have a suspicious agenda.”
I think what you are describing is actually a pretty universal phenomenon. It’s always easier to trust people who are part of your own cultural group (regardless of what cultural group that happens to be) because every culture has its own set of “unspoken rules.”
I know perfectly well how to interpret a subtle facial expression, a particular hand gesture, or a certain tone of voice when I’m amongst people from my own cultural group… but throw me into a situation where I’m interacting with people who are from another culture, and the opportunities for me to be misunderstood, or for me to misunderstand others, increases exponentially.
Hence, less trust, more suspicion.
This isn’t to say that we can’t interact in a positive way with people who are culturally different from us – on the contrary, such situations can be great opportunities to learn more about others and ourselves. But IMHO, interacting in a respectful way with members of a different culture requires acknowledging and being honest about our differences.
I’m sorry to hear that you have friends who won’t speak to you because you have different perspectives on some of the more pressing issues of our day. I’ve had people stop talking to me as well, and if I’m honest, there are also a few people I just don’t feel like having much to do with anymore, either. It does feel like we are going through a great “sorting” right now, and the dissolution of some relationships, both with family members and friends, seems to be an inevitable part of that.
These are confusing times. For myself, I find one way to stay anchored is to follow the adage, “know thyself.”
I think the differences between us, cultural and otherwise, are a big part of what makes us interesting to each other. In my experience, not everyone feels that way. Those micro suspicions seem to morph into real distrust and, at its worst, to hatred. We are all different whether those differences are cultural or lifestyle difference.