Happiness, like wealthiness, is an ephemeral mirage. As you achieve it your standards change and what you come to perceive as happiness remains just out of reach.
Happiness isn't to make us happy. It's evolution's carrot on a stick to keep us doing stuff. It's no coincidence the US Declaration of Independence talks about the right to *pursue* happiness, not achieve it.
Find meaning in what you're doing in the moment. Horizons are for gazing at, not chasing.
No that's not true. Happiness is the default position of human consciousness. It's not something we need to chase, it's something we actively trick ourselves out of in each moment. All that's required is to bring consciousness to the ways in which we trick ourselves.
Not surprising that many share this “happiness is a mirage” mentality, especially when you see them equate it to something like wealth. And when you consider the never ending deluge of things=happiness bullshit that we swim upstream against daily. As you observe, happiness lies in being present in moments of authentic relationship- to nature, to other beings, to (god forbid) ourselves. Thanks for your writing, Caitlin. I only discovered you recently, and with every word I read came that delightful feeling of recognition. Oh thank god, here’s another one of my people. We are not alone. We are not alone. We are not alone.
I think some of the debate in the comments comes from the idea of happiness as a goal in the future, which is used by the Machine as a carrot on a stick. The pursuit of happiness (often deferred to the afterlife) is sold to us as something dependant upon external factors beyond our control.
Whereas, if I receive your meaning, you're talking about happiness as an ever-present auto-generated possibility we can allow ourselves, not as an end in itself, but as something vital to our health, like nutritious food or some sun on your face each day.
Perhaps you're confusing happiness with the bliss of equanimity, though your statement that we need to 'trick' ourselves into it suggests you're not. It also contradicts your earlier post about a 'truth-based relationship with reality'.
I'll stick with my search for truth and leave fooling yourself to the self-improvers and happy clappers.
No contradiction at all; happiness is the natural byproduct of a truth-based relationship with reality. I didn't say we need to trick ourselves INTO happiness, I said we trick ourselves OUT of it.
But I'd still suggest happiness is the drive to satisfaction that Saint Mick assures us we can't get (even if we smoke the same cigarettes as him).
I'd agree there's a blissful natural ground state of consciousness concordant with unconditional love and acceptance, but that's not what I think 'happiness' means.
Regarding truth, while it's very important to me I don't think it's a path to happiness and my experience thus far suggests it may be just as much a mirage as happiness is.
'Truth' doesn't seem some kind of destination that can be arrived at but rather the process of seeking it. The more you uncover the more questions about truth are raised - including 'truths' you previously believed to be settled.
What's more, in my experience 'truth' is likely to alienate you from your society and culture and all the 'necessary lies' that maintain it. That also means alienating you from people who are important to you. It's not very conducive to happiness, especially if you compare it with the apparent happiness so many seem to find in shared lies (or do you go around educating kids as to the truth about Santa?)
Of course epistemological humility helps a lot. Understanding your 'truths' tentative, subjective and, very possibly, untrue facilitates wearing them more lightly and not as an armour to shield and define yourself against the 'truths' held by others. But if it's possible to care about the truth without being discomforted by the propagation of what seem to be untruths that's a skill I'm yet to develop.
There's a big difference between "your truth" which is based on your personal experiences colored by whatever meanings you choose to assign to them, and "the truth" which is far out of the reach of our finite individual minds. Truth is reality plain and simple and 99.9% of it is beyond human comprehension. That reality is a mystery that keeps life interesting and worth living. It's okay not to know everything. The lie is telling ourselves that we should.
According to Buddhist teachings existence is dukkha (unhappiness/unsatisfactoriness/disappointment/unease/suffering) because we crave things we can't acquire or attain, things that don't satisfy us and things we have but will inevitably lose.
How can wanting what you have be divorced from anxiety about losing it?
A friend of mine once observed that everyone frets because 50% of marriages end in divorce without considering what the other 50% end in.
Right, A! I don't want to get too heavily philosophical but since the bluebird of happiness tends quite often to crap all over our collective birthday cakes, it's wisest to not get our hopes up too high, but to wait for the occasional, generally fleeting experience of real happiness, and to extract from it what we can.
Have you confused happiness with money? Declaration of independence also talks about merciless, savage Indians, and counts blacks as 3/5ths a human being.
For example, you make a new friend. That makes you feel happy. A year or so later your friendship is less of a source of perceived happiness than the 'new normal'. Then you have a bust-up with your friend. You've now become even more unhappy than you were before you became friends. Ergo your standard of happiness has adapted to the changed circumstances.
It's not just biological processes which are subject to homeostasis. It's also your emotions, including happiness. As any junkie can tell you, if you want to maintain your level of happiness you have to keep increasing the dose of whatever makes you happy. There's limits to that.
As for the Declaration I was in no way endorsing it, just pointing out its authors weren't silly enough to say "All men have a right to happiness". Of course that standard has also changed after a century of consumerist mass marketing and many people now believe they *do* have a right to happiness; usually via rewarding themselves with the latest piece of worthless tat.
Happiness is healthy; it's not silly. Some of the happiest people I have come in contact with were the Cuban revolutionaries.
Happiness, like wealthiness, is an ephemeral mirage. As you achieve it your standards change and what you come to perceive as happiness remains just out of reach.
Happiness isn't to make us happy. It's evolution's carrot on a stick to keep us doing stuff. It's no coincidence the US Declaration of Independence talks about the right to *pursue* happiness, not achieve it.
Find meaning in what you're doing in the moment. Horizons are for gazing at, not chasing.
No that's not true. Happiness is the default position of human consciousness. It's not something we need to chase, it's something we actively trick ourselves out of in each moment. All that's required is to bring consciousness to the ways in which we trick ourselves.
Not surprising that many share this “happiness is a mirage” mentality, especially when you see them equate it to something like wealth. And when you consider the never ending deluge of things=happiness bullshit that we swim upstream against daily. As you observe, happiness lies in being present in moments of authentic relationship- to nature, to other beings, to (god forbid) ourselves. Thanks for your writing, Caitlin. I only discovered you recently, and with every word I read came that delightful feeling of recognition. Oh thank god, here’s another one of my people. We are not alone. We are not alone. We are not alone.
I think some of the debate in the comments comes from the idea of happiness as a goal in the future, which is used by the Machine as a carrot on a stick. The pursuit of happiness (often deferred to the afterlife) is sold to us as something dependant upon external factors beyond our control.
Whereas, if I receive your meaning, you're talking about happiness as an ever-present auto-generated possibility we can allow ourselves, not as an end in itself, but as something vital to our health, like nutritious food or some sun on your face each day.
Perhaps you're confusing happiness with the bliss of equanimity, though your statement that we need to 'trick' ourselves into it suggests you're not. It also contradicts your earlier post about a 'truth-based relationship with reality'.
I'll stick with my search for truth and leave fooling yourself to the self-improvers and happy clappers.
No contradiction at all; happiness is the natural byproduct of a truth-based relationship with reality. I didn't say we need to trick ourselves INTO happiness, I said we trick ourselves OUT of it.
Quite correct. I misread your comment. Apologies.
But I'd still suggest happiness is the drive to satisfaction that Saint Mick assures us we can't get (even if we smoke the same cigarettes as him).
I'd agree there's a blissful natural ground state of consciousness concordant with unconditional love and acceptance, but that's not what I think 'happiness' means.
Regarding truth, while it's very important to me I don't think it's a path to happiness and my experience thus far suggests it may be just as much a mirage as happiness is.
'Truth' doesn't seem some kind of destination that can be arrived at but rather the process of seeking it. The more you uncover the more questions about truth are raised - including 'truths' you previously believed to be settled.
What's more, in my experience 'truth' is likely to alienate you from your society and culture and all the 'necessary lies' that maintain it. That also means alienating you from people who are important to you. It's not very conducive to happiness, especially if you compare it with the apparent happiness so many seem to find in shared lies (or do you go around educating kids as to the truth about Santa?)
Of course epistemological humility helps a lot. Understanding your 'truths' tentative, subjective and, very possibly, untrue facilitates wearing them more lightly and not as an armour to shield and define yourself against the 'truths' held by others. But if it's possible to care about the truth without being discomforted by the propagation of what seem to be untruths that's a skill I'm yet to develop.
There's a big difference between "your truth" which is based on your personal experiences colored by whatever meanings you choose to assign to them, and "the truth" which is far out of the reach of our finite individual minds. Truth is reality plain and simple and 99.9% of it is beyond human comprehension. That reality is a mystery that keeps life interesting and worth living. It's okay not to know everything. The lie is telling ourselves that we should.
Happiness isn't having what you want but wanting what you have.
Or trusting yourself to deal with what life offers, bad as well as good.
According to Buddhist teachings existence is dukkha (unhappiness/unsatisfactoriness/disappointment/unease/suffering) because we crave things we can't acquire or attain, things that don't satisfy us and things we have but will inevitably lose.
How can wanting what you have be divorced from anxiety about losing it?
A friend of mine once observed that everyone frets because 50% of marriages end in divorce without considering what the other 50% end in.
... death. ;-)
Right, A! I don't want to get too heavily philosophical but since the bluebird of happiness tends quite often to crap all over our collective birthday cakes, it's wisest to not get our hopes up too high, but to wait for the occasional, generally fleeting experience of real happiness, and to extract from it what we can.
Have you confused happiness with money? Declaration of independence also talks about merciless, savage Indians, and counts blacks as 3/5ths a human being.
Nah. It's obvious if you think about it.
For example, you make a new friend. That makes you feel happy. A year or so later your friendship is less of a source of perceived happiness than the 'new normal'. Then you have a bust-up with your friend. You've now become even more unhappy than you were before you became friends. Ergo your standard of happiness has adapted to the changed circumstances.
It's not just biological processes which are subject to homeostasis. It's also your emotions, including happiness. As any junkie can tell you, if you want to maintain your level of happiness you have to keep increasing the dose of whatever makes you happy. There's limits to that.
As for the Declaration I was in no way endorsing it, just pointing out its authors weren't silly enough to say "All men have a right to happiness". Of course that standard has also changed after a century of consumerist mass marketing and many people now believe they *do* have a right to happiness; usually via rewarding themselves with the latest piece of worthless tat.
Ok. In your first post it was like you were speaking of money (never enough...).